077: "I Thought You Wanted Something From Me": What Happens When You Don't
What We Found When We Made Space for Conversations That Don't "Go Anywhere"
I looked down at my calendar and saw another day filled with back-to-back meetings. Strategy sessions. Client calls. Team check-ins. All important, all necessary, all...scheduled.
But something was missing.
I realized I had engineered my entire business life around productive outcomes. Every interaction had a purpose, a goal, a deliverable. Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten about the simple joy of human connection for its own sake.
That realization led Carolina and me to an experiment we now call "Soul Wave Connection" - setting aside time each month just to talk with members of our community. No agenda. No pitch. No expectation.
This is a process inspired by learnings from another smart marketer friend, Mai-kee Tsang.
What is it?
Just conversation.
The results have been nothing short of transformative - not just for our business, but for our understanding of what it means to build something meaningful in today's world.
The Connection Paradox
We live in what should be the most connected time in human history. Technology has removed virtually all barriers to communication. We can video chat with someone on the opposite side of the planet with a few taps on our phones.
Yet studies consistently show rising rates of loneliness and disconnection.
The business world offers a particularly stark version of this paradox. We're constantly "connecting" through LinkedIn messages, Zoom calls, and email threads - yet how many of these interactions feel truly human?
The truth is that most business communication has become transactional. We connect to get something, achieve something, move something forward. Even when we're being friendly and personable, there's usually an underlying objective.
This isn't inherently bad. We all have work to do, goals to achieve, businesses to grow. But when every interaction becomes transactional, we lose something essential to the human experience.
The Soul Wave Connection Framework
For those curious about how we structure these connection opportunities, here's the actual template we use each month:
Subject: [OPEN NOW] December Soul Connection Calls (6 spots available)
Hello [First Name],
It's time for our monthly Soul Connection Calls!
What are these calls? Every month, we open up 3 spots each (6 total) for quick 20-minute conversations with members of our community. No agenda, no pitch—just a chance to connect person-to-person.
Why are we doing this? Because building a business can sometimes feel isolating, and we believe the best relationships start with simple conversation. This is our way of saying thank you for being part of our community.
Who is this for? Anyone who wants to have a genuine human connection. You might want to share what you're working on, ask a question, or simply say hello. All are welcome!
How it works:
Pick a 20-minute slot with either Carolina or Phil
Show up on Zoom ready to connect
Enjoy a conversation with no hidden agenda
[BUTTON: Book Your Call with Carolina] [BUTTON: Book Your Call with Phil]
Here are some of the wonderful people we've connected with recently: [INSERT 3-4 ZOOM SCREENSHOTS/PHOTOS]
It's first-come, first-served, and just one slot per person. If you've joined us in the past three months, we kindly ask that you allow new community members to grab these spots.
With appreciation, Phil & Carolina
P.S. These calls are completely complimentary—our gift to you for being part of this community.
That's it. No complex application process. No screening criteria. Just an open invitation to connect.
The simplicity is intentional. We want to remove all barriers to genuine human connection.
The Power of Non-Transactional Connection
What happens when we remove the transaction from our interactions?
When Carolina and I started offering these simple 20-minute conversations with no agenda, no pitch, and nothing to sell, something unexpected happened. People opened up in ways they never would have in a more structured context.
They shared struggles with their businesses. Dreams they hadn't voiced aloud before. Questions they'd been afraid to ask. Personal challenges that were affecting their work.
In these brief, agenda-free conversations, walls came down. Real connection happened.
One participant told us afterward:
"I can't remember the last time someone in business just wanted to talk with me without wanting something in return."
That statement hit hard.
Because in it lies a profound truth about modern business culture: we've trained people to expect an angle. To anticipate the pitch. To wonder what we really want from them.
And when that expectation is subverted - when people realize you genuinely just want to connect - it creates a kind of magic that no marketing strategy can replicate.
The Brain Science of Connection
Our brains are wired for connection. When we engage in genuine social interaction, our bodies release oxytocin - sometimes called the "love hormone" or "trust molecule."
This neurochemical response creates feelings of bonding and increases trust. It's the same chemical released when a mother holds her newborn baby or when close friends share meaningful experiences.
Studies show that video calls can trigger this same oxytocin release, provided the interaction feels authentic and meaningful. In other words, even virtual connections can create real neurological bonding when they're genuine.
This explains why our Soul Wave Connection calls have become such a powerful part of our community building. They activate basic human bonding mechanisms that most business interactions simply don't trigger.
From Transaction to Transformation
What's most fascinating is how these non-transactional connections ultimately transform business relationships.
People who have joined us for these calls often become our most engaged community members. They're more likely to open our emails, engage with our content, and tell others about our work.
Not because we sold them anything during our conversation - we explicitly don't - but because genuine connection creates a foundation of trust that no amount of clever marketing can establish.
This points to something profound about business relationships: the strongest ones often begin with moments that have nothing to do with business at all.
When you connect as humans first, the business relationship that follows has a completely different quality. It's built on something real.
The Conversation Framework
While our connection calls are intentionally unstructured, we do follow some loose guidelines to ensure the experience feels comfortable and meaningful:
Opening with curiosity: We typically begin by asking "What's currently lighting you up in your work or life?" This open-ended question allows people to share what's most alive for them right now.
Following their energy: Rather than steering the conversation toward our interests, we follow what energizes them, asking questions that help them explore further.
Authentic sharing: When relevant, we share our own experiences, creating a two-way exchange rather than an interview dynamic.
Offering connection points: If appropriate, we'll suggest resources or connect them with other community members with shared interests.
Closing with possibility: We end by asking if there's anything they need that our community might be able to help with.
This simple framework creates space for authentic connection while ensuring the conversation feels comfortable and meaningful.
The Practical Magic of Making Space
I know what you might be thinking: "This sounds nice, but I barely have time for all my 'necessary' meetings. How can I justify setting aside time for conversations with no specific outcome?"
It's a fair question, and one I wrestle with myself, especially when things feel busy.
But what if the most valuable business activity you could engage in right now is simply connecting with your community as a human being?
What if the ROI of genuine connection is higher than almost anything else you could do with that time?
For us, the evidence is clear. These brief conversations have:
Created deep community loyalty that no content strategy could achieve
Provided invaluable insights into our audience's real challenges
Generated word-of-mouth referrals without any request to do so
Inspired new offerings based on expressed but unmet needs
Reminded us why we do this work in the first place
The practical benefits are undeniable. But perhaps the most important outcome is the least measurable: these conversations have made our work more meaningful and joy-filled.
Creating Your Own Connection Practice
You don't need to copy our exact formula to implement this idea. The core principle is creating space for non-transactional human connection within your business ecosystem.
This might look like:
Setting aside 2-3 hours monthly for community connection calls
Creating a "virtual coffee" program for your audience
Hosting small, casual conversation circles rather than formal webinars
Reaching out personally to new community members just to welcome them
The specific format matters less than the intention: connecting without an agenda, a timeline, or expected outcome.
What does matter is authenticity. People can sense when you're genuinely interested versus when you're going through the motions or have a hidden agenda.
True connection can't be faked or automated. It requires presence, curiosity, and a willingness to be human.
The Sacred Business Network: A Space for Connection
This philosophy of genuine connection is exactly why we created the Sacred Business Network. We recognized that many entrepreneurs, especially those building heart-centered businesses, were craving more than just tactical advice and strategies.
They wanted to connect with others who understand that business can be sacred. Who recognize that everything is connected - our spiritual growth, our business success, our relationships, our impact.
The Network provides a container for these connections to flourish - through monthly Connection Circles, community spaces, and opportunities to share gifts and wisdom with each other.
It's not just another "networking group" where people exchange business cards and pitch each other. It's a genuine community of heart-centered entrepreneurs supporting each other on the path of building Sacred Businesses.
Because we believe that business, at its best, isn't just about transactions. It's about transformation - for ourselves, our clients, and the world we share.
The Choice Before Us
Every day, we make choices about how we spend our time and energy. About the kind of business culture we create. About how we relate to the people who follow our work.
We can choose transaction or connection.
We can prioritize efficiency or humanity.
We can focus exclusively on measurable outcomes or create space for magic to happen.
The beautiful truth is that when we choose connection, humanity, and magic, the outcomes we desire often follow naturally. Not because we pursued them directly, but because they are the natural result of meaningful human relationships.
In a world where everyone is trying to optimize, automate, and scale, perhaps the most revolutionary business strategy is simply to connect as humans.
To listen without an agenda.
To create space for conversation without expectations.
To remember that behind every email subscriber, every follower, every potential client is a human being craving genuine connection.
That's the philosophy behind our Soul Wave Connection calls. It's the foundation of the Sacred Business Network. And I believe it's the future of business in a world hungry for meaning and connection.
With appreciation,
Phil
P.S. If you're feeling called to join a community of heart-centered entrepreneurs who understand that everything is connected, I invite you to check out the Sacred Business Network. It's a space where you can find your tribe, grow your Sacred Business, and deepen your connection to purpose. Learn more here →
Happenings
New Website!
I'm excited to share that we've just launched a completely redesigned website for Sacred Growth Club! If you've been curious about the deeper work we do there, this new site does a much better job of showing what's possible when you align your business with your deeper purpose.
The new design beautifully captures our core belief that building a Sacred Business shouldn't feel disconnected from your values and wellbeing. You'll find clear explanations of how we help heart-centered entrepreneurs create thriving, purposeful businesses through our integrated coaching approach.
How Creators Can Turn Their Fears Into Inspiration
Yesterday, Carolina had the pleasure of joining Sinem Günel for a Substack Live conversation about overcoming creator fears. This topic hits close to home for us at Sacred Business Flow, as we've seen firsthand how when our clients and Sacred Growth Club
Introducing Sponsorships with Sacred Business Flow
Big news! We're now offering sponsorship opportunities for our newsletter reaching 6,100+ heart-centered entrepreneurs with a 43% open rate. Our audience includes established business owners ($150K-300K annual revenue) looking to scale their impact sustainably.
Why partner with us?
Connect with purpose-driven entrepreneurs across 114 countries
Join a community growing at 39% monthly over the past quarter
Partnership options include:
Single Issue Feature ($300)
Monthly Sponsorship ($960/month)
Link Placement ($65)
VIP Partnership (Custom)
Our selective approach ensures we only feature products and services that genuinely help our community create sustainable success.
Interested? Click here to learn more!
Who We Are Celebrating
Louisa Burford
This week, we're celebrating Louisa Burford, a language joy spreader and fluency facilitator based in Spain who's transforming how people learn Spanish through her heartfelt approach.
Louisa combines psychology with her passion for languages to help learners find an easier path to fluency. Her book "Heartful Spanish: Your Joyful Path to Fluency" offers a refreshing alternative to traditional language learning by helping people overcome internal blocks and rediscover the natural joy of language acquisition.
Currently, Louisa is embracing growth (her highest frequency on the Harmony Map!) through a 90-day YouTube challenge on her Heartful Fluency channel, pushing through tech fears while sharing her gift for intuitive language learning.
Check out her podcast at HeartfulSpanish.com/podcast and join us in welcoming her as one of the newest members of the Sacred Business Network!
Here is what I want to share this week …
Austin Activation 2025
Right before I got sick and ended up battling out a full decade of autoimmune disease, one of the last things I did was run a Spartan Sprint Race. It’s been my goal to come back triumphant and do one again, this time from a place of full celebration of how far I’ve come with my health goals.
If you’ve read our manifesto, you know it was a pretty tough time.
Interested in joining me in May? Let me know, would love to connect!
Memorable Quote
Thank you
for sharing this reminder.P.S. You can read all previous editions of the newsletter here, and you can upgrade your subscription here.
What’s next?
Carolina and I are ready to support you in creating a business that aligns with your heart's calling. Here's how we can help:
Discover Your Sacred Business Alignment (Free): Take the Harmony Map Assessment and read our Sacred Business Manifesto to understand where you are on your path and how to move forward with clarity and confidence. Perfect for entrepreneurs wanting to understand how everything in their business connects.
Read the Sacred Business Manifesto (Free): Learn the core principles of building a Sacred Business through our founding story and framework. See how we transformed our approach to business by understanding that everything is connected.
Join Our Next Implementation Challenges: Action-focused programs like the Sacred Business Planning Rituals Challenge and Substack Growth Challenge help you create real momentum in specific areas of your business. Free for Club members, discounted for Network members. Be sure you are subscribed to be notified when the next one is offered live.
Sacred Growth Club: A complete support system with weekly embodiment classes, live coaching calls, writing circles, and expert workshops. Designed for entrepreneurs ready to build sustainable success through proven practices while staying connected to their purpose. Includes full access to the Network and all challenges.
Be The Flow Coaching (1:1): Personal guidance combining strategic business planning with energy alignment work. Weekly coaching sessions plus full access to Sacred Growth Club benefits. Ideal for entrepreneurs seeking deep transformation and sustainable growth in their business.
Love the concept of having a conversation, and truly listening, when there is zero wanting of an outcome.
This article feels like it’s a bit of a contradiction in purpose tho, because it continues into a marketing pitch.
Is it possible to simple connect without “making use of” your essay?
A conversation that doesn’t go anywhere, it could be like a homebody, you know, and just wants to hang around.