Beautiful post. There’s many out there that are stuck in between worlds of the old self and the True Self. Sounds like you came home and freedom welcomed you at the door. I just love the frequency of this word freedom. It carries such incredible meaning.
I agree, Nikki. I feel like freedom is the real goal. What I appreciate most is... I didn’t often need to show my spiritual side at work, but not having to hide it matters. And even beyond that, being able to speak and share your real opinion, using the same words you would use anywhere else, feels really good.
Thanks for sharing, Carolina! The concept of being caught between two worlds really resonated with me. For me, I’m caught between the past and the future. As Nikki said in the comments, between my old self and true self. I ran a training business that I closed down five years ago. Since then I’ve done a lot of inner work. Changed a lot, healed a lot, but still it feels there more I need to work on. Blocks I can feel. They make me uncomfortable but I know leaning into them is how I will grow through them. I know it’s not time for me to start a business again yet. There are core things I need to change. Traumas I’ve already identified and worked on that for some reason still control a part of me. Still silence me, still make me anxious and afraid and unsafe. It’s exhausting sometimes feeling “stuck” between the old and the new but I trust the process and I trust that God has a plan for me. My entire life I’ve had to perform for people - I learned that my value is based on what I give and sacrifice for others. Overgiving and overpleasing, feeling responsible for others’ emotions, needing to be the fixer and the healer and the one who carries the burdens so others don’t have to. My business was coaching teens in self-development. Many students of mine thank me until now, telling me how much I helped them grow, helped them become confident and strong and self aware and emotionally intelligent. I have done too much for others, starting with my mother. Now is a time to do for me. To know that my worth isn’t about what I give. And that’s why I don’t feel ready to start a business again (although I feel it probably will be in my future but in a different manner than it was). Because I don’t want to do for others. I’ve done that too much. It’s time to do for me. To sit with myself. To ask myself what I want for my life. And now that I’m a mother, it matters more than it ever did. I need to set the right example for my daughter.
I can keep going, but I wanted to share this here. I just tried taking the quiz to get a personal assessment map but I felt that I can’t quite take the test because I’m not “there” yet. It doesn’t make sense to answer it based on my old self who ran the business. And my new self who wants to run a business isn’t here yet. I don’t want it yet. I want to be myself first. Who am I underneath everything I learned to be?
Wow… thank you for this beautiful and honest share. It’s so precious to witness the way you are pausing.
I see myself in so much of what you wrote. I think this is a lifelong unfolding… especially as mothers. I have two kids, and there is so much giving. It’s sacred, but if I’m not conscious, I can lose the line of what is truly mine to give. And that can feel heavy.
My first business was also very much rooted in giving to others… with very little awareness of what it meant to give to myself, or to receive. When I shifted my approach (even before Sacred Business Flow), I stared to understand something differently that my business was actually a form of receiving that I previously ignored in the name of giving…
Through the business I was building, I was shaping the life I wanted to live. Yes, I was serving fully … but I was also receiving more openly. It felt balanced. And it didn’t create the same exhaustion as before. The tools I was offering weren’t that different… what changed was my understanding of giving without receiving.
And about the Harmony Map… if you allow me to gently disagree :)
You don’t need to have a new business to be a new business owner. Your awareness right now already reflects where you are. The map isn’t about your “old self” or some future version. It simply meets you where you are today.
If anything, taking it from this in-between place could bring light to exactly the questions you’re sitting with.
But most of all … I honor your pause. There is so much wisdom in not rushing.❤️
Thank you for sharing this! I feel this now at my corporate job and my not so secret spiritual life and substack and it’s nice to see others leading the way further down this road than I am now <3
Less rejection and more fragmentation … it’s showing me the impact of these two lives being separate from each other and the importance of unifying the two - so that I’m fully in my authenticity and power regardless of my surroundings
Beautiful post. There’s many out there that are stuck in between worlds of the old self and the True Self. Sounds like you came home and freedom welcomed you at the door. I just love the frequency of this word freedom. It carries such incredible meaning.
I agree, Nikki. I feel like freedom is the real goal. What I appreciate most is... I didn’t often need to show my spiritual side at work, but not having to hide it matters. And even beyond that, being able to speak and share your real opinion, using the same words you would use anywhere else, feels really good.
And not having to hide feels really good too.
💯
Thanks for sharing, Carolina! The concept of being caught between two worlds really resonated with me. For me, I’m caught between the past and the future. As Nikki said in the comments, between my old self and true self. I ran a training business that I closed down five years ago. Since then I’ve done a lot of inner work. Changed a lot, healed a lot, but still it feels there more I need to work on. Blocks I can feel. They make me uncomfortable but I know leaning into them is how I will grow through them. I know it’s not time for me to start a business again yet. There are core things I need to change. Traumas I’ve already identified and worked on that for some reason still control a part of me. Still silence me, still make me anxious and afraid and unsafe. It’s exhausting sometimes feeling “stuck” between the old and the new but I trust the process and I trust that God has a plan for me. My entire life I’ve had to perform for people - I learned that my value is based on what I give and sacrifice for others. Overgiving and overpleasing, feeling responsible for others’ emotions, needing to be the fixer and the healer and the one who carries the burdens so others don’t have to. My business was coaching teens in self-development. Many students of mine thank me until now, telling me how much I helped them grow, helped them become confident and strong and self aware and emotionally intelligent. I have done too much for others, starting with my mother. Now is a time to do for me. To know that my worth isn’t about what I give. And that’s why I don’t feel ready to start a business again (although I feel it probably will be in my future but in a different manner than it was). Because I don’t want to do for others. I’ve done that too much. It’s time to do for me. To sit with myself. To ask myself what I want for my life. And now that I’m a mother, it matters more than it ever did. I need to set the right example for my daughter.
I can keep going, but I wanted to share this here. I just tried taking the quiz to get a personal assessment map but I felt that I can’t quite take the test because I’m not “there” yet. It doesn’t make sense to answer it based on my old self who ran the business. And my new self who wants to run a business isn’t here yet. I don’t want it yet. I want to be myself first. Who am I underneath everything I learned to be?
Wow… thank you for this beautiful and honest share. It’s so precious to witness the way you are pausing.
I see myself in so much of what you wrote. I think this is a lifelong unfolding… especially as mothers. I have two kids, and there is so much giving. It’s sacred, but if I’m not conscious, I can lose the line of what is truly mine to give. And that can feel heavy.
My first business was also very much rooted in giving to others… with very little awareness of what it meant to give to myself, or to receive. When I shifted my approach (even before Sacred Business Flow), I stared to understand something differently that my business was actually a form of receiving that I previously ignored in the name of giving…
Through the business I was building, I was shaping the life I wanted to live. Yes, I was serving fully … but I was also receiving more openly. It felt balanced. And it didn’t create the same exhaustion as before. The tools I was offering weren’t that different… what changed was my understanding of giving without receiving.
And about the Harmony Map… if you allow me to gently disagree :)
You don’t need to have a new business to be a new business owner. Your awareness right now already reflects where you are. The map isn’t about your “old self” or some future version. It simply meets you where you are today.
If anything, taking it from this in-between place could bring light to exactly the questions you’re sitting with.
But most of all … I honor your pause. There is so much wisdom in not rushing.❤️
Thank you for sharing this! I feel this now at my corporate job and my not so secret spiritual life and substack and it’s nice to see others leading the way further down this road than I am now <3
Hi Kaitlin! Thank you so much for your comment. I’m really glad you’re on this path too ...it’s so liberating ❤️
I’m curious have you experienced any rejection in the corporate world, or has it felt like a light path so far?
Less rejection and more fragmentation … it’s showing me the impact of these two lives being separate from each other and the importance of unifying the two - so that I’m fully in my authenticity and power regardless of my surroundings
Thank you for sharing this @carolina!! I need to read it again and sit with it! So appreciated!!
I’m so glad my words brought something to you. Thank you for taking the time to comment here ❤️
PS My publication is called « And the day came… » inspired by the Anais Nin quote you share here!!
That’s a powerful name for your publication. There’s probably something really special unfolding for you.
Does your Substack represent your public “yes” to your wholeness?
It does not, YET :) Thank you for asking.
I like the YET ❤️
it was nice to see you on the lives yesterday!
Thank you, Phil! It is always a pleasure to be present in conversation with you and Carolina!
appreciate that :)