Dreams Die in Small Talk

How well-meaning friends can accidentally derail your future

Have you ever felt that excitement about a crazy idea or an awesome plan to do something completely different from what you usually do?

You felt that desire to shift completely – move to another country, buy a house or sell your house, change careers, go back to school.

Go back to when you first felt that, the deliciousness in your body, the excitement with the possibility.

It felt so true, so real!

You have that feeling of "Wow, that's exactly what I need to take my life experience to the next level!"

You start making plans in your head, imagining how nice it will be. You dream vividly about it, and that idea doesn't leave your head. For days, you keep feeding that excitement, researching online the first steps, and everything feels possible to you.

Your body is nourished by the possibility. Your mind operates from a very expansive state where it believes that everything is possible.

These early moments are crucial.

Research from the London Business School shows that major life changes require a delicate process of identity transition. You're not just planning a move or a career change – you're beginning to see yourself as a different person, creating a new identity.

This transformation needs private space to unfold.

The days go by. You haven't taken any actions besides some research and journaling when you have a gathering with your friends. They're all cool – you have a lot in common.

Maybe they work with you, maybe they're your neighbors, or maybe you grew up together.

Then you feel the desire to share your thoughts, to share that secret that has been filling you with joy. It's something so far from your current reality that you almost feel the need to explain yourself, to justify why you want what you want.

You start talking to them, a little awkwardly.

As you speak, you feel the excitement again, your chest expands, you start speaking louder – only to hear comments like, "Oh cool... but how are you going to do that?" Another one says, "Oh no... this is not for me, I need safety. I would never leave my current job."

Then you hear, "Another country? You don't even speak the language."

What you don't realize is that you've just fallen into a trap that Harvard Business School researchers have identified – exposure to too many opinions early in a decision-making process often leads to increased doubt and even decision paralysis.

Your beautiful dream is now being filtered through everyone else's fears and limitations.

Without realizing it, you wither. You start having the same questions as them.

Am I crazy?

Yeah... how am I going to learn this new language?

What about my pension plan and all the current benefits?

You shut yourself down.

You go back home and think about your idea again, but now instead of feeling expansive, you feel contraction in your body.

Doubt and lack of confidence take over, and little by little, that thought, that dream, that idea fades away.

Years go by, and one day something triggers in you that memory – that business idea, that dream, that big move, that desire... what could have been but wasn't.

Your friends are still the same, you are still the same, and you never gave yourself the chance to experience that unique thing that resided in you.

Why do I say not to share with friends or people around you? Not because they're bad people – actually, it's the opposite. They're great people who want your safety.

But safety is no longer enough for you.

Don't share your goals or ask for advice from people who don't have what you want.

At the beginning, we don't hold enough confidence that we can make it happen, and this new desire can be easily shaken when we don't get approval from the people we like.

Hold the vision for yourself.

Surround yourself with people who have what you want – people who have moved to a different country, learned a different language, started a new business, who have given birth to that secret desire.

Then you become the person who has that too. You bring your vision into life, you live your desire, and then you start sharing with your friends. You inspire them.

You become the one who represents possibility, not the one who needs approval.

As Maya Angelou once said,

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

But perhaps there is also no greater wisdom than knowing when to keep that story sacred, until it's ready to be told.

With love,

Carolina

P.S. Remember - your dreams don't need everyone's approval. They just need the right space and support to grow. The Harmony Map is your first step to creating that sacred container for transformation.

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Over 500 entrepreneurs have used the Harmony Map to gain confidence in their next moves and find the support they need to make meaningful changes.

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