Someone in our community had the perfect opportunity handed to her last week. And she let it walk right by.
She was out for a walk when she ran into someone she knew from her past. Well-connected, generous, and exactly the kind of person she’d been hoping to connect with about her new business for months. They stopped, had a friendly chat, and the acquaintance asked her the easiest question in the world.
So what are you up to these days?
The door, wide open. All she had to do was walk through it.
Instead she kept it light. Talked about the weather, more or less. Then they said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.
She got about half a block down the street before it hit her.
I can’t believe I didn’t say anything.
Pay attention here. It isn’t that she has nothing to say. She has a real calling. She’s already built the business, secured a lease on a physical property, and in every way is further along than she tends to give herself the credit for.
But it isn’t fully real to her yet. Getting there, but not fully. And it’s really hard to speak to something that doesn’t quite feel real yet, so when the moment came, there was nothing there to anchor her.
I watched her tell this to the group and I recognized it on the spot, because I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit.
We treat clarity like a ticket you have to show at the door. Get clear first, we tell ourselves, and then we’ll put ourselves out there and finally share our message.
We have it backwards.
You don’t get clear and then get seen. You get seen, over and over, and that is how it becomes real. The sidewalk conversation you’re dreading is how clarity gets created as a gift from life. It will never arrive beforehand, waiting politely for you to feel ready.
And the cost of waiting is subtle, which is what makes it dangerous. Every “so what do you do?” you deflect teaches your body and nervous system that the work still isn’t yours to claim. The identity stays theoretical. The opportunities keep passing by, unclaimed.
For what it’s worth, this is the whole reason Carolina and I build our offerings the way we do. People come to us certain they need to be clear before they’re allowed to begin. They don’t. The only threshold that has ever mattered is a calling that won’t let you go, and the willingness to bring it forth. The what and the how, we build together. That part it really helps to have someone in your corner to figure out. If you feel that pull and you’re done waiting to feel ready, this is where we help people cross it.
So here’s the one thing I’d love you to do today.
Think of the last time someone asked what you’re up to and you minimized what you shared, or simply didn’t say a thing about it. What did you wish you’d said?
Reply or tell me in the comments. Say it here first, where it’s 100% safe. Better to find the words here than half a block too late.
Phil (& Carolina)
"You don’t get clear and then get seen. You get seen, over and over, and that is how it becomes real." That is just so much the truth. It feels so vulnerable!