Life Knows Better Than You… and Me
How to stop managing life and start moving with it
You know that thing that went wrong?
You planned it, it felt good, you were excited about it, it felt so aligned… and then it didn’t work.
You failed. You made a mistake.
You know what this means? It means… just chill and use that as new information.
You know the difference between a happy, relaxed person and a stressed, unfulfilled one?
Their relationship with life.
Yes. It seems simplistic because it is.
Life will not happen the way you want it to.
I don’t know anyone who told me, and I have never read a book or any spiritual text that says … you will be happy when you plan and life matches your plan.
It just doesn’t work that way.
It doesn’t matter where you are or what you do.
Your ability to enjoy life is directly related to your ability to trust it.
You say, I trust the universe. You want to believe that. You repeat the mantra “life is always working out for me” but when things don’t go as planned, you just say, it wasn’t meant to be.
And you stay calm and peaceful… but deep inside, there is frustration, sadness, that quiet question of but why?
You don’t want to let that emotion surface, so it sounds about right to just let it go and trust it wasn’t for you. It sounds spiritual. But often we confuse peace with apathy.
Instead of meeting the new circumstance with curiosity, we accept it silently and we go numb.
In other situations, we push harder. We force. We stress ourselves. We feel anger and disappointment, but we do make it happen.
And then it just feels like exhaustion. The body keeps the score. Somewhere underneath all that doing is a quiet exhaustion like you're the only one holding it all together and if you stop, everything falls apart.
There is a third way. You feel the discomfort when things don’t go as planned and you don’t pretend it’s fine or push through it. You pause. You breathe. You stay curious enough to ask “okay, so what is life showing me now?”
A few months ago, we bought a ticket from a small town close to São Paulo, direct to Rio de Janeiro. They only fly three times a week, one flight a day.
The day of our flight, when we were trying to check in, we found out we had booked the right day but the wrong month.
On top of that, no other seats were available.
I felt it immediately. That slight contraction. The oh shit moment.
And then, not a full relaxation, but a quiet thought, that voice whispering:
hey, just chill. The universe knows better than you.
I chose to stay humble and curious. I don’t know what I don’t know.
I want to pause here because this is important.
I wasn’t in a deep state of peace. I was very aware of the new situation, but I was relaxed.
Let’s look for other flights from different airports — it didn’t work.
Let’s consider cancelling everything — doesn’t feel good.
Let’s just drive, but one day feels too heavy. no.
Let’s drive and extend our stay, that feels lighter. Let’s look for other places to stay during the extra days…
And that’s how we made our decision. From following what felt lighter versus heavier, based on the new information life was giving us.
This is what I call regulating for expansion. Not relaxing so much that nothing happens. Not pushing so hard that your body pays for it.
Staying calm enough to deal with what’s actually in front of you… centered, grounded, attentive, and relaxed at the same time.
This is a practice. I train for this on my mat. It’s the work behind everything I teach.
Long story short, the reason we were going to Rio was to explore the possibility of staying there longer. So we drove and extended our stay.
The original Airbnb? It was a no for long term. The neighborhood wasn’t what we imagined it would be.
The second neighborhood, the one we found only because of our mistake, was everything we could have hoped for. Calm, by the ocean, safe, walking distance to everything we needed. We found an apartment available to visit exactly when we could. They dropped their price to match our budget and offered cancellation terms exactly the way we needed.
Is this luck? No.
Life is meant to be like that when you allow it to be.
But I want to be honest about what the real gift was.
It wasn’t the apartment.
The real gift was the connection with the present moment, with my heart fully open. It was the chance that life gave me to practice in real time what I teach and train for myself.
The choice not to poison my body with a flood of stress hormones over a missed flight. To stay curious instead of collapsing into a story about what it all meant or blaming myself for the mistake.
What is the surprise the universe is showing me here?
That’s the question that changed everything.
Not because it’s a nice thought but because my nervous system was trained enough to actually ask it and mean it.
How often do you think you know better than life?
How often do you lose your whole day because things aren’t going your way?
The spiritual bypass says: it wasn’t meant to be. The hustle says: push harder. Both lead to that same heaviness… a life that never quite feels right.
But co-creating with life says: stay open, stay present, stay curious and keep moving.
Esther Hicks says life is meant to be fun. I agree completely.
But life is not meant to go your way.
It’s meant to awaken you to the magic that there’s a bigger force here… supporting you, showing you things, surprising you… taking you places your heart wants to go…
And it’s trying to show you that in every situation that goes differently from your plans. In every mistake you think you’re making. In everything that feels out of control.
None of that will change. You are the only one who can.
Either you play with life or you keep playing against yourself.
One leads to joy, health, and flow. The other leads to stress, frustration, and exhaustion.
You can change your life, move across the globe, build a new business, change careers but if you are not willing to change your relationship with life, it will always feel like you’re swimming upstream.
And even the most beautiful things you are creating will be hard to enjoy.
Life is a gift… allow yourself to receive it.
With love,
Carolina
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A fabulous post that resonates Carolina ❤️
There's a huge difference between knowing and what needs to be embodied🙏✨