Why You're Still Waiting (And What You're Really Waiting For)
Why the credentialed and the "unqualified" are trapped in the same cage
There she was, diplomas covering the wall behind her Zoom screen. Twenty years of credentials. Recognition. A successful career by every measure that mattered to the outside world. And when she spoke about her work - the work her diplomas validated - she was solid, clear, the authority everyone trusted.
But there was something she’d been holding in her heart for over five years. Something that lit her up when she let herself feel it. Something she’d never offered, never spoken about, never allowed into her professional world.
There he was, full of life experience carved into his bones. Trauma survived. Relationships navigated. Pain transformed into wisdom. And when he sat one-on-one with someone going through what he’d been through, he KNEW he could help. He felt it in his chest, solid and certain.
But he had an unfulfilling job that kept his identity as “the one who doesn’t speak up” perfectly intact. At the end of his days, lying in bed, he’d ask himself: could it be different? Could I actually do this? And then morning would come, and he’d go back to the job, back to the silence, back to the suffocation.
They’re not opposites. They’re the same person in different costumes.
Watch what happens when she gets close to that thing she’s been holding. Her calendar suddenly fills with current clients. New projects appear that need her attention. Someone needs her expertise - the validated, credentialed expertise - and suddenly there’s no time for the thing that has no diploma backing it up.
Watch what happens when he thinks about stepping forward. He finds another training he should take first. Another area where he’s not quite qualified yet. Another reason why someone else would be better suited. And the job that suffocates him becomes the excuse that protects him.
She stays busy with the work that recognizes her. He stays small in the work that contains him. Both keep themselves exactly where they are.
From the outside, it looks like they have different problems. She seems successful but scattered. He seems stuck and unfulfilled.
But these aren’t different problems. These aren’t even real problems.
These are protection mechanisms.
Because if she stays busy with the credentialed work, she never has to face offering something her diplomas can’t validate. If he stays in the suffocating job, he never has to risk being seen as who he actually is.
Five years she’s been holding that thing. Five years of “when I have time” and “maybe next year” and “people need me for this other thing right now.”
Every day at his job, asking “could it be different?” but never taking the step that would make it different. Every day choosing the suffocation he knows over the freedom he doesn’t.
Inconsistency, lack of clarity, not having a system, perfectionism, procrastination, constantly switching offers, not being able to set prices, always needing one more thing before you’re ready - these are all symptoms, not causes.
And if you keep addressing the symptoms, you’re just putting duct tape on a wound that needs surgery. You never actually get where you want to go. You just get really good at managing your own sabotage.
The root of most business problems is not tactics or strategy. It’s the terror of not knowing who you will become in the process. So you create problems to avoid finding out. You stay stuck to stay safe.
Here’s what I need you to hear: Both these individuals are making a choice.
An unconscious choice, yes. A choice that makes perfect sense given how terrifying identity death feels. But still - a choice.
She’s choosing the authority she’s recognized for over the authenticity she’s being called to. He’s choosing the suffocation he knows over the risk of being wrong about who he thinks he is.
They both believe something that’s keeping them trapped. Something the world taught them. Something that seems so true they don’t even question it anymore.
They believe confidence comes from external validation.
She collected the markers society recognizes - the diplomas, the credentials, the twenty-year career. So she has confidence... but only within the container those credentials create. The moment she steps toward something they don’t validate, the ground disappears beneath her feet.
He never collected those markers. So he believes he has nothing to stand on. The fact that he’s transformed his own pain, that he knows things in his bones that no training could teach him - none of that counts because no external authority ever validated it.
They’re trapped in the exact same framework - waiting for the outside world to give them permission to trust what they know inside.
And here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud:
You will never get credentials or external validation for being authentically you and building your Sacred Business. That sense of authority HAS to come from within. Otherwise, you will find all the ways to sabotage yourself.
She can collect every credential in the world. He can complete every training program available. And they’ll BOTH still be stuck. Because what they’re being called to build can’t be validated externally.
There is no diploma for being yourself. No certification for speaking your truth. No external authority that can give you permission to trust your own knowing.
Now, let me be clear: there IS a type of confidence that comes through action and experience. Outer confidence. This is real. This is valuable. This is how you get competent at things. You practice, you improve, you build skill, you gain confidence in that skill.
But what we’re talking about here is different.
We’re talking about the confidence to BE yourself in your business. To offer what YOUR heart is calling you to offer. To speak in YOUR voice. To trust YOUR knowing even when no one else has validated it yet.
And for that? Outer confidence doesn’t help. In fact, for her, it’s become a trap. Her outer confidence in the credentialed work keeps her from having to develop inner authority for the new work. For him, the lack of outer confidence has become the excuse that keeps him from discovering he never needed it in the first place.
Real confidence - the kind that lets you build a sacred business - is an inner experience that precedes action and validation.
Here’s how to recognize what real confidence actually is, why your nervous system keeps choosing safety over truth, and the three biological gateways that can shift you from external validation to internal authority - plus a specific practice you can use this week to start building from a different foundation.
The woman with the diplomas. The man in the suffocating job. You probably recognized yourself in one of them.
What comes next is how to actually shift this pattern. The three biological gateways. The practice that rebuilds inner authority.
This is the work we do inside the Sacred Business Network: inner patterns and outer strategy, together. Serve & Receive course, monthly Wonder Question Calls, and a private coaching call with us when you finish the course.
$15/month. The cost of staying stuck is higher.
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