Stop Fighting Your Mind Into Peace
The radical act of befriending the part of you that never stops thinking
I’ve been noticing something lately - from our embodiment classes, from conversations with clients, from my own journey.
We’re at war with our minds.
And we think this war is necessary for our spiritual growth.
Just this week, someone in our community said, “I just hate my mind.” And my heart broke a little, because I recognized that voice.
I used to say the same thing.
We tell our minds to surrender completely while also demanding they stay sharp for strategy.
We want them to quiet down during meditation but be brilliant during business planning.
We ask them to let go of control while expecting them to know exactly what to do next.
And when our minds can’t perform this impossible balancing act, we blame them.
We call them the enemy.
The thing that creates separation.
The villain in our spiritual story.
One participant in our embodiment class shared something beautiful: “The mind is like an appliance trying to help you the entire time. It’s doing what it thinks it needs to do to make you happy, to figure things out, to put you at ease.”
But instead of appreciating this loyal servant, we reject it. We think the more we fight our minds, the more spiritual we become.
We believe that rejecting the mind somehow brings us closer to wholeness.
This is something I’ve asked myself for years now: How can we experience wholeness if we’re rejecting a fundamental part of ourselves?
We talk about integration.
We talk about bringing all parts of ourselves to the table.
Yet we leave our minds outside, telling them they’re too loud, too anxious, too much. What if our minds aren’t the problem? What if they’re actually trying to serve us, but we’ve given them an impossible job description? Your mind isn’t meant to know everything. It’s not meant to control everything. But it’s also not meant to disappear.
I started an experiment years ago that changed everything. Every morning, while moisturizing my body, I would thank every part of me - including my mind. At first, it felt forced. Some days I’d think,
“Really? I’m supposed to love this part of me that kept me up all night overthinking?”
But something shifted over time.
The voice in my head - you know the one - it started changing.
Instead of “You should be doing more,” it became “Hey, look what you accomplished.” Instead of listing everything that could go wrong, it started noticing what was going right. The inner critic didn’t disappear.
But it became kinder. More like a concerned friend than a harsh judge.
What if your mind could work WITH the creative force instead of against it?
What if it could serve your soul instead of sabotaging it?
What if it could trust your body’s wisdom instead of overriding it?
This isn’t about positive thinking or affirmations. It’s about fundamentally changing the relationship you have with the part of you that narrates your entire life.
Someone in class mentioned something profound: “When you tend to your body, when you soften and relax, the mind naturally gets quieter.” The quiet mind we’re all chasing? It’s a byproduct of treating our whole selves with love - including our minds.
You can’t hate yourself into wholeness.
You can’t reject yourself into integration.
And you definitely can’t fight your mind into peace.
Start small.
Pick something you already do every day, brushing your teeth, drinking water, walking to your car. And in that moment, say something kind to your mind. Thank it for trying to protect you. Appreciate it for problem-solving, even when you didn’t ask it to.
Notice when your mind is being harsh and meet it with curiosity instead of more judgment. “Oh, there’s that protective part again. Thanks for trying to keep me safe.”
Your mind brought you here. To this moment. To this article. To this possibility of a different way. Maybe it’s time to stop seeing it as the enemy and start seeing it as a part of you that’s been working overtime, trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.
What would change if you treated your mind with the same compassion you’d offer a frightened child? What if, instead of trying to silence it, you helped it feel safe enough to relax?
And this is what has proven true for me: Your mind isn’t separate from your spiritual journey.
It’s part of it.
And when we finally stop fighting ourselves, when we bring all parts of us into love - including our overthinking, anxious, beautiful minds - that’s when real transformation happens.
The next time your mind goes into overdrive, pause. Put your hand on your heart. And try this: “Thank you for trying to protect me. I hear you. We’re safe. We can choose differently now.”
Your mind isn’t the problem. The war is.
And you can choose peace anytime you’re ready.
What would it feel like to have your mind as your ally instead of your enemy? To have that inner voice become one of encouragement instead of criticism?
This is the work. Not transcending the mind. Not silencing it.
But loving it back into its rightful place as a sacred tool in service to your soul.
With Love,
Carolina
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This is fantastic, Caroline. This is what has been helping me: the mind which is constantly trying to protect us through its chatter and anxiety and depression originated around ages 6 - 10. It too is our inner child. By rejecting it, we're re-wounding it, which only creates more demand for it.