I was having a conversation the other day with Josh Woll from The Sober Creative… I truly admire his discipline and devotion to his service. In a very different way, he helps people with similar things I do.
We both help people consciously choose the identity that is more aligned with their wholeness and break patterns that are keeping them small.
He said that choosing to become sober was a practice of choosing self-love. It was like saying: I love myself so much, I love and appreciate my body so much, that I am not willing to put this substance in it anymore.
This is so powerful and profound. Often we are not conscious of where our choices are coming from.
An identity shift begins with awareness. But it only becomes real through new actions.
The person who started drinking chose alcohol as a way to cope with an emotion, a situation, or even an entire way of being that was too painful. In that substance, they found relief. That identity was necessary to survive.
As we evolve we learn to see life differently. That identity that needed the substance might not be needed anymore. But if we don’t pause, if we are not present in the body, we never really see that. We don’t even question.
I would take what he shared and go further.
At one point in my life, I decided I would not let certain thoughts occupy my mind. Why? Because I was choosing to love myself so much that those thoughts were simply not aligned anymore — just like he did with alcohol.
It started with awareness. I began to notice how each thought felt in my body. Fear felt one way. Possibility felt completely different.
And once I could feel that distinction, I could no longer pretend I didn’t know.
It sounds too simplistic. But if you are guided by your heart, your body is telling you constantly — this doesn’t serve you anymore.
In that moment, you either choose the old story, the identity that no longer serves you, or you decide to choose differently.
With alcohol, it seems clear. With thoughts, not much… they are too fast.
But let’s use self-doubt as an example. When you say I am not enough, is my business idea really worth it? Am I capable of doing it?
You already know how that feels.
In that moment you keep honoring the protective part of you more than what is really true.
The soldier is very loud.
It doesn’t want you to fail, but also, it doesn’t let you succeed.
When I decided to leave my job and build my business, the doubt was its own substance. “Is this the right choice?” Living inside that question was intoxicating. It kept me safe and it kept me small.
The moment I chose action anyway, life didn’t get easier. It got more honest.
Everything I had been keeping under the rug with the security of a job came to the surface. Insecurities. Fears. Patterns of procrastination. Thoughts of not being enough that had never shown up before. I was so good at what I did in my old life. And now I had to keep choosing love through every single one of those moments.
Yes, I can do this. Yes, I am enough. Not once. Every day.
And in that process, I started falling more in love with myself. Even when my shadows came up. Even when guilt and shame came up. There was a sense of curiosity I had never felt before.
Who am I underneath all of this? What is here when I stop protecting myself from my own life?
That is what self-love actually looks like in practice. It is not the result of something. It is how you choose to walk your path. It is choosing to see all the ugliness you once hid and still choose love — and very clearly, act from what you now know love is.
So when you choose to stay in your head, doubting, overthinking, waiting until you feel ready — that is almost the same as choosing the substance. The chemicals your body releases in chronic stress, in shame, in fear, in blame — they are extremely toxic.
Your body does not know the difference.
You have been choosing the opposite of love and calling it responsibility.
And your soul knows it.
So that business idea that excites you the most? That next level that feels expanding in your heart? The part of you that you are truly ready to share but have been hiding? The slowing down to have more space to be creative? Those aren’t just good ideas. Those are love speaking.
It might not always be easy. But if you get quiet enough, you know it. And it is simple.
The soldier has been doing his job for a long time. Protecting you. Keeping you safe. He deserves your gratitude.
Your soldier can make a lot of sense. It has all the good excuses. But it feels like unease. Like something is missing. It feels like disappointment.
And your soul is ready to hold something bigger than your soldier ever could.
And now, he can rest.
So what is it going to be?
Your soul or your soldier?
With Love,
Carolina
If your soldier has been running the show, it's time to find out what your soul is actually working with. Start with the Harmony Map — it's free and it takes minutes.