Why You Hate Selling (And What That Really Means)
A gentle reframe on selling, visibility, and the courage to serve.
My brain has been frying lately with the topic of sales — all the resistance, fear, and rejection around it.
I want to sell you my beautiful product or service… but I hate all the emails I get from people selling stuff.
We reject the very thing we want.
I was this person too. I thought good business was word of mouth only. I thought it had to be “organic” (whatever that meant to me at the time). I would never ask, “Do you want to buy this from me?” And I see this so often with our clients as well.
In so many conversations, this keeps coming up: we want to sell, but most of us hate selling.
That made me go deeper and ask more questions.
Maybe we lost something in our evolution… something in how we relate to this action called selling, an action that has existed since humans understood themselves as humans.
There’s still a version of selling I deeply dislike, but that’s not the same as selling itself.
So what is it then?
When I rejected active selling, I told myself that if my work was good enough, people would magically find me. That was my definition of “flow.” I thought visibility meant ego. I thought showing my work was showing off. I judged people who showcased their services out loud… while secretly wishing people would see mine.
Think of a street market.
You have your stand. You arrange your products beautifully. You welcome people with a smile. You offer help if they want to see something. You invite others to know your products.
In fruit and vegetable markets here in Brazil, you often see people literally shout their offers:
“Delicious juicy mango! The best strawberries! Come, come!”
And I’ve seen this all over the world.
They even hand you a piece of fresh fruit — ripe, sweet, delicious — and then say, “Just 5 dollars for the whole box.”
And the truth is: I feel gratitude when they offer me something to taste.
Because often, I end up discovering something I didn’t even know I liked.
Think of how grateful you feel when you buy something that genuinely helps you or brings something delicious into your life… and notice that for you to receive it, someone had to offer it.
That’s what happened with mamontinos in Costa Rica (by the way… it’s amazingly delicious).
It also makes me think of this cheese vendor, calling us over, explaining where it came from, how they make it, what makes it special.
You ask questions, they answer with pride.
You can feel their love for what they created. I love experiencing people in their element.
A relationship is born. There is connection.
And this is what we’ve lost along the way, especially online. That’s why it all feels so empty.
I can almost guarantee: what you hate is not selling.
You hate disconnection.
Think of your craft… how much though, time, and love you pour into it. How deeply you know you can help someone. Have you ever thought about this?
You might be holding the solution to someone’s problem… and because you reject selling, they never get the chance to receive it.
All the care you pour into your craft is meant to be received.
You want someone to experience your dear-to-heart creation. Because it’s in the exchange that you actually live your natural role as a creator.
The wound is not about selling. The wound is about losing the connection to service.
Ask yourself:
When you reject sales, are you honoring your desire… or your ego?
I dare to say you are honoring your fears and your protective personality more than your own calling.
Your desire is to help many. To serve. To share the beauty you know you have inside. To offer solutions to the problems of others you’ve solved for yourself.
Your heart wants to be helpful and visible.
Your soul wants to feel it all.
It’s your ego that keeps trying to protect you from being vulnerable.
Selling is vulnerable.
“I made this… I believe in this… I think it can help you.”
And that’s intimate. It’s skin-on-skin honesty. No wonder it feels risky.
But when selling comes from connection, when it comes from the truth held in your heart, selling becomes an exchange — a form of giving and receiving.
And suddenly the question becomes:
Why am I choosing my ego’s comfort over someone else’s transformation?
Sales is just the bridge. Sales is the moment your service becomes real in someone else’s life.
And when you remember that, selling stops being something you resist and becomes something you honor.
And that’s why selling — real selling, connected selling — feels like devotion.
It’s you saying:
“I care enough to tell you.”
“I care enough to make myself visible.”
So if you resonate with my words here — if you struggle with being seen, if you think it’s coming from your ego — let me tell you: it is not.
The desire to have a real, successful business is coming from your soul.
You don’t need to have a business. You want to have one. You just moved from survival to creator.
If you’re building something that truly matters, or want to start creating structure around your service… if you are allowing yourself to go beyond your own needs and expand into how you can contribute to making this world a better place… then you are building a Sacred Business, and we can support you in your journey.
This was never meant to be done alone. Our beautiful community has its doors open for you.
Inside, we’re all different — incomes, backgrounds, markets — but we share one thing:
We are building businesses because we want to serve.
Because something inside us said, “This matters.”
Because we want to create the space for the work that chose us to be born.
If this resonates, click here and let’s talk.
If this sales invitation creates resistance… click here and let’s talk.
Resistance is simply a sign that the next step is asking for a more expanded version of you.
With love,
Carolina
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What’s next?
Phil and I are ready to support you in creating a business that align with your heart’s calling. Here’s how we can help:
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Carolina, Thanks for this honest reflection on Selling and how I resist it. Really helpful! Thank you!
The idea of the vulnerability got my interest. The struggle is putting myself out there multiple times, with nothing to show and no interest in what I’ve been vulnerable about. It gets increasingly hard to try with each flop. All of these discussions start sounding like just more false promises and opportunities to feel bad.