I Wrote Myself Out of My Own Story

I thought disappearing behind my tools was humility. It was quietly keeping me under-authorized.

It wasn’t about me. It never was.

That’s what I told myself for years.

When something changes your life, maybe a technique you learned, a teacher you start following, a philosophy, a new way of seeing life, you often feel the pull to help other people.

You had the problem. You found the way through. Now you want everyone still stuck in it to know there’s a way out. You want to share the solution you found with as many people as possible.

There are many ways to do that. Most people build a business. The thing you love starts to pay you, so you can stop splitting your hours with a job that drains you. That time comes back to the work. More time, more people you can reach.

So you start a business.

And if you're anything like I was, you wear every hat. Support, practitioner, salesperson, marketer.

I thought growing the business meant two things: get people results, then get in front of as many people as possible. My work was an energy healing modality, and that was my magic, so that's what I led with. The method. Never me.

But I was missing something.

Because I made everything about the tool, I never paused to see my part in the transformation. I thought people were there for the modality, so I over-explained. I kept trying to make them understand why the work worked.

Then I got another certification, and it got worse. Now I was wearing one more hat. A teacher too.

And again, what I taught and the tools I used felt so powerful that making myself important seemed like ego. An indulgence. Who was I to be the point? I remember saying: I don’t do anything, anyone can learn this tool, it just works.

Maybe you've said something like that too.

You're a seeker. Smart. You had a problem, you found a solution, you learned something new and you applied it. You did the work. You're good at it, you've got the results, and you're already helping people. You have tools on your belt, many certifications, some from institutions that are distinguished. And you give the credit to all of it. Every last piece.

Except you.

That was me. I was proud of what I’d accomplished. So grateful for my teacher, for everything he taught me, that I forgot a simple thing. I was the one who took the actions. I walked the path and that was my magic too.

I remember trying to refer a client to another professional in the same modality, and she said, "Let's find a way to make this happen, I want you." And I argued with her that there was no difference, that the other person would help her just like I would.

She could see it. I couldn’t.

Sounds humble. It wasn’t. It was me writing myself out of my own story.

And a story with the hero left out doesn’t attract anyone. It just informs them.

We can feel the difference. When someone reads a book and explains what they learned, it feels very different from someone who read a book, did something with it, changed their life, and now tells you the story.

One has life in it. Emotion. Possibility. Transformation. The other is just more information.

People find you because they think you can solve their problem. But they stay because of who you are.

And who you are shows up only as clearly as you can see it.

I didn’t want to be them. And in refusing to make everything about me, I made nothing about me. I refused to see my own light.

But it turned out it wasn’t either/or. I didn’t have to choose between myself and the certifications. There was an option in the middle.

I had to honor both.

Nobody really cared about the tool or the certification. They wanted the result. And in the end they were the ones creating it. I was just holding the possibility open, because I’d already walked the path.

I had to recognize my part in it. I did it, so they can too.

Your business has more room to expand when you stop disappearing behind your expertise and embody your importance within it. You’re uniquely qualified to help people, not because you know the most tools or hold the right title, but because you transformed your own life first.

My business hit a ceiling. And the problem was never that I wasn’t qualified. I was under-authorized. And that authorization, I had to learn to give myself.

With Love,

Carolina

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