You’ve been sitting on something. Maybe for months, maybe longer. Not because you don’t have anything to say, but because the silence around what you’ve already written, or thought about writing, or almost published, has started to feel like a verdict.
What if it isn’t?
You read it back, you hear nothing from the outside world, and you decide to wait a little longer until it’s better, until you’re clearer, until the timing is right.
When Mac first spoke honestly in a bible study group, the man who went next said something he’d never said to anyone. Mac didn’t cause that by being inspiring. He caused it by going first, and he understood precisely why. He built Porn Free Millennial from inside the situation it addresses, a Substack publication and podcast about recovery from pornography addiction, before the divorce was final, before his own story was over, before anyone was reading. He stopped for two years. Then he started again. He publishes it every Monday from his RV, alongside a corporate job he hasn’t left. The light, he says, is a great disinfectant. Once you get it into the light, it starts a process. Things start moving to where you can’t just be in the same place anymore.
He realized in that room that sharing his story might just open up somebody. That if he went first, the person sitting next to him might say something he’d never said before. When you’re teaching something or sharing about yourself, he said, it calls you to elevate how you live your life. You can’t keep talking about something you’re not living into. What that looked like when five people were listening and the numbers said stop is what this conversation is about.
Show Notes
[Segment 1] — The Platform and Why It’s Named That
• Porn Free Millennial addresses a topic most people won’t name publicly. Mac chose the name deliberately and doesn’t soften it.
• His framing is honest from the start: this is his subject, his wound, and he offers it as a service.
• The directness of the platform name sets the tone for the whole body of work.
[Segment 2] — Where It Started: Age 10 Forward
• Mac’s story began at age 10 and ran through marriage and into divorce. He is specific about the timeline.
• He was caught, not confessional, six months into his marriage and handled the moment badly. He’s honest about that.
• The secret didn’t break the marriage on its own. Managing the gap between who he appeared to be and what he was doing created the damage.
• Mac describes having a public identity built on trustworthiness while carrying “this separate self I wasn’t too proud about.”
[Segment 3] — Built It, Stopped, Then Started Again
• Mac created Porn Free Millennial in 2021 while still married and nearly two years sober. He stopped before he launched it publicly.
• A relapse after a cross-country move cut him off from his therapist, his bible study group, and his closest friends at once. Rebuilding those structures in a new city took longer than the gap they left.
• He didn’t actually start publishing and podcasting until May 2023, after the divorce. The platform sat dormant for nearly two years.
• The lesson isn’t about willpower. It’s about structure: the support system that makes the work possible is not optional, and it doesn’t travel automatically when you do.
[Segment 4] — The Bible Study Moment That Changed Everything
• Mac shared something vulnerable in a group bible study. The man who spoke after him immediately shared something he’d never said out loud before.
• Mac recognized the pattern: going first creates permission. When one person stops managing their image, the people around them become capable of something they weren’t capable of before.
• This moment became the operating principle of Porn Free Millennial: the platform exists because going first is contagious.
• Mac’s words: “I shared something really deep. And what I noticed was, it was like the next guy after me shared something really private and something that they were struggling with. I think that was one of the first times I really realized, wow. If I shared something about my story, that might just open up somebody.”
[Segment 5] — The Fear of Talking to No One
• Mac’s first article got 20 to 30 reads. His first podcast episode got 5 downloads on day one.
• The fear wasn’t that people would judge what he was saying. It was that nobody would hear it at all.
• One friend reached out privately after listening. Mac decided that one person was worth more than any number the platform wasn’t giving him.
• Carolina named the pattern: a reader will sit with someone’s work for a year in silence, then write to say something changed. The silence wasn’t indifference. It was process.
The question Mac eventually stopped asking: What if no one is listening?
[Segment 6] — How to Build Through Collaboration
• Mac’s approach: interact with someone’s work before you ask for anything. Leave comments, engage with their posts, let them see your name before you reach out directly.
• His most effective collaborations came from unexpected intersections, a film professor, a medieval art historian, an AI specialist, not from chasing people in the same niche.
• Starting with a collaborative article is lower friction than a podcast invite. It builds trust and gives both people a finished piece of work before committing to a longer format.
• The worst someone can say is no. Mac is direct about this. Most people never ask because they haven’t made peace with that outcome.
[Segment 7] — The Growth Move He Didn’t Plan
• A single Substack Note featuring a Duncan Trussell quote brought roughly 90 new subscribers. Mac did not predict this.
• Substack Notes, not long-form essays, drove his biggest single growth moment on the platform.
• The practical point: stay consistently visible in small ways and stop trying to engineer what spreads.
• His Monday newsletter, consistent and unremarkable in ambition, proved more valuable over time than any single spike.
[Segment 8] — What He Offers Now
• Mac publishes a weekly newsletter every Monday, runs a bi-weekly podcast trending toward weekly, and writes Porn Free Poetry, one poem per month.
• He offers one-on-one coaching starting with a free Zoom discovery call, available through his Substack about page.
• He has an accountability software partnership with Ever Accountable, with a 20% discount linked on his about page.
• Mac runs all of this alongside a corporate day job from his RV. He hasn’t quit to pursue the platform. He’s building it while the day job is still there.
• His words on why consistency holds: “When you’re teaching somebody something or sharing stuff about yourself, I think that calls you to elevate how you live your life. Because I don’t wanna be talking about something if I’m not living into it.”
Key Quotes
“People would see Mac. You’d look at me and be like, oh, hey. That’s Mac. He’s trustworthy. He tells the truth. He’s honest. He has integrity[...] But at the same time, I had this separate self that I wasn’t too proud about.”
Mac Dohm
“I think when you get it out in the light[...] the light’s like a great disinfectant. Because once you get it in the light, it starts a process. It starts getting things moving to where you can’t just be in the same place anymore. You have to take some kind of action.”
Mac Dohm
“I shared something really deep. And what I noticed was, it was like the next guy after me shared something really private and something that they were struggling with. I think that was one of the first times I really realized, wow. If I shared something about my story, that might just open up somebody.”
Mac Dohm
“I’m not trying to hold things back because I hope that somebody can read it or listen to it and be like, okay. Well, if he’s doing it, then I can do it.”
Mac Dohm
“When you’re teaching somebody something or if you’re sharing stuff about yourself, I think that calls you to elevate how you live your life. Because I don’t wanna be talking about something if I’m not living into it.”
Mac Dohm
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Porn Free Radio: podcast hosted by Matt Dobschuetz Matt Dobshutz, one of the original voices in the porn-free recovery space. Mac credits this show with starting his recovery.
Ever Accountable: accountability and content-filtering software. 20% discount available on Mac’s Substack about page.
Porn Free Millennial Episode 50: Mac’s interview with Matt Dobshutz, cited as one of his best episodes.
Substack Notes: the short-form posting feature Mac used to generate his single largest subscriber growth event.
Duncan Trussell: comedian and podcaster. A Trussell quote shared as a Substack Note produced Mac’s biggest single growth moment on the platform.
Where to Find Mac Dohm
Mac built Porn Free Millennial from inside the exact situation it addresses, before he was ready, before his own story was over, and before the numbers gave him any reason to keep going. If you’ve been sitting on something that feels too personal to publish, he’s worth your time. Here’s where to find his work.
Substack: Porn Free Millennial (weekly newsletter, bi-weekly podcast, Porn Free Poetry series, Reflections)
Mac said that teaching something calls him to live into it. He can’t talk about what he’s not doing. That’s not a standard accountability trick. It’s a specific consequence of going public with the thing you’re still working on.
This conversation left me with one question. What would you have to live into if you published what you’ve been holding back? Not what would change for your audience. What would have to change for you.
Mac’s through-line was that what costs you most to keep hidden is often what someone else needs to hear first. If this conversation named something for you, the Harmony Map can tell you what pattern is underneath it. Ten minutes. Free.
